A #Narcissist Explains: The only acceptable apology from a narcissist is consistent changed behavior (2023)


The only acceptable apology from a narcissist is consistent changed behavior. Accepting a narcissist back into your life with only promises of change is the absolute worst thing you can do.

If this is your first video, my name is Lee and I am a self aware narcissist. I've been in therapy for my personality disorder since 2017 and it has definitely changed my life because without it, I would have lost everything.

The point of these videos is to help bring awareness from the other side of the #narcissistic *buse spectrum. All my videos give perspective on why many narcissists do what they do and the possible different reasons behind them. The abuse victims get validation and the #Narcissists (those that are willing) get to see that you can get help and that you are not alone.

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For more detailed videos find me on www.wisio.com search mental healness. Click the BEACON up top for direct links. Thank you


Why do you treat me so much worse? Every time I take you back because you took me back.

I took you back because you promised me to change and I loved you and I trusted you and I cared about you.

Okay, no one asked you to do any of that, but that's the thing about love like nobody has to ask you to love them.

Nobody should have to ask you that you promised me you would change, but you you've only gotten worse.

I know what I said, but you took me back before I made any changes, so I thought you.

I thought you were okay with who I was and who I am I'm not okay with who you are that's.

Why I'm asking you to change, but the fact that you took me back before I changed means that you are okay with who I am no.

No, no, it doesn't.

Yes, it actually does because the second that you took me back, I saw it as forgiveness.

I did forgive you, but that doesn't mean like I once I still want you to change.

What actions did I take to change before? I came back none you didn't change at all, exactly what is going on beautiful people.

Welcome to another episode of a narcissist explains.

I am diagnosed narcissist.

Mr lee hammack, also known as mental healing this from tik tok instagram twitter youtube.

You know where to find me.

I am a diagnosed narcissist and the point of my platform is to bring awareness to narcissistic personality disorder and also validate the victims and survivors of sad disorder in this series right here I pretty much explain my tick.

Tocks tick.

Tock is my biggest platform.

They have 60.

Second videos.

I just go deeper into them on this youtube series right here, so this particular tick.

Tock right here is the perfect example of the only acceptable apology.

Apology you should take from a narcissist is consistent, changed behavior, because if you take a narcissist back or toxic person or anybody back for that matter, doesn't have to be narcissist.

If you take anybody back without consistent change, behavior, then you are like in a nurse's mind, you are okay with every single thing that they have done to you.


I don't care what it was in their mind if you take them back before they make any changes before they make before they go to therapy before they uh move before they do anything whatever they promise you to do to get you to to get you to allow them back into your life.

If you take them back before they make any steps in that direction.

You are saying that you are okay with who they are right now and that's why it is in this example right here and this uh tic tac.

I did that little skit.

I did that's why the the narcissist in their videos said that they said you took me back before I made any changes, so I took that as forgiveness.

If you take them back, you are saying that you are okay with what they have done to you previously, whatever it is lying cheating any type of abuse.

I'm look.

Let me preface this.

Let me let me rewind it.

I'm not saying it's okay to be abused.

I'm not! Okay in anything like that, I'm just telling you the mindset of a narcissist.

This is my mindset.

I'm just telling you my mindset, so if you take them back without any kind of change, if they just making promises, hey I'll, go to therapy, hey I'll change, hey I'll! Stop, cheating, hey I'll, stop! Yelling at you! Hey I'll, stop getting led to the kids! Hey! I stopped doing this.

Yes, I'm doing that.

If you take them back just based on their word, then you are okay, uh, I'm just I'm just the messenger! You are saying you are okay, with whatever they said to you, whatever they did to you and that's what it is and then like.

If you take them back, you cannot bring it up again if you take them back before they go to therapy.

If you take them back before you see any kind of consistent change, behavior, then I'm just telling you you can't break it up.

You can't bring up the transgressions.

Why and they'll, because they'll say something like this they'll say.

Why did you take me back then? If you don't, if you're gonna keep bringing up the past why'd, you take me back dave you're, not really gonna.

Forgive me why'd! You take me back then, if you you're, not gonna trust me, that's the that's the mindset right there, I'm just trying to open your you open your minds up to the mindset that goes into this process right here, because the end they look and if you take them back without the change behavior without some kind of consistent therapy plan, without some kind of consistent change, behavior, they will get worse.

You see how close I got to the camera for that one.

They will literally get worse.

The narcissist will get worse because now they want to see what mortals, because they got away with whatever they got away with whatever you forgave them, for they want to see what else they can get away with and a lot of times most times.

If it's cheating, you won't catch them, cheating the same way twice.

If you go through my apple watch and see some messages that didn't get deleted, you won't do it again.

The apple was got a lot code on it.

If you go through my phone and see some messages or some instagrams or some snapchats or whatever it before you look.

If you go up to my phone and you see that type of stuff um there's nothing, you want to do it again, the phone will have a lock on it next time you won't catch them like if you take them back for cheating without, like I said, but awesome, some kind of change behavior without some kind of openness.

Without some kind of you know, consistency you there, you just make them better cheaters, you make them better at whatever they did to you.

You make them a better, manipulating you you make them better at gaslighting you and the more times you do it the worse.

It will literally get the more times you do it, the worse.

It will literally get if you take them back like every single time.

You take them back, it goes, it goes downhill.

Your relationship goes downhill and the abuse the manipulation the cheating goes up.

It just progressively gets worse because now they get like they get a high from it.

Imagine get imagine being in a nurse's mind and getting away with something so big with something so heinous.

Like sleeping with your friend, you cut your friend off, but you take the narcissist back, uh sleeping with you sleeping with somebody, somebody close to you.

You cut that you, you cut that person out, but you take the narcissist back you.

You literally have picked the narcissist above everybody else.

So now they now they feel like they have superpowers now now they feel like they got strength and power over you now now, they're gonna see what they can get away with they wanna now now, anytime, you put a boundary in place.

They're gonna push against their bound a little bit more because they've already you've already forgiven them before without any kind of a changed behavior.

Oh and this good, because that's what's that's what I hear so much y'all these one-on-ones I'll, be doing that's.

Why I hear so much people saying it was good for a week or two.

It was good for, like a month after I took them back and then it went right back down there and we broke up again and I took him back broke again, took him back the same behavior the same patterns over and over and over and over again, and it doesn't stop until it stops.

It doesn't stop until somebody puts a stop to it and a lot of times.

Narcissus is not going to put a stop to it until they find another another supply.

Another person just to take your place still gonna beat you down.

Take everything from you not feel, maybe not physically mentally they're, gonna mentally, beat you down or physically someone get physical, take everything from you and then go get go discard you with somebody else and you're gonna feel like you wasted so much time, effort and energy on somebody that did that didn't deserve it and then the narcissist is gonna say hey.

You knew who I was because I've seen that I've seen like this is a good analogy right here I saw um I'd, be seeing like this poem going around like this meme going around where a um, a woman saw it.

It was a woman or a man.

A person saw a snake like a snake, a poisonous snake lying on the side of the road.

It was in pain and whatever they they decided because they loved.

I know because they love they were just so caring and empathetic, and they could feel the snakes pain.

They said, I'm gonna take this snake home, I'm gonna nurse it back to health.

They took the snake home nursery back to health.

The snake was so happy.

The snake was like.

Oh my goodness, thank you so much you saved my life and then the second the snake got healthy.

It bit them it bit the person and the person was dying.

The person was like, oh my god, I saved your life.

Why are you doing this to me? What does that do wrong? The snake said you knew all you knew.

I was a snake when you met me, I'm just this is just my nature, trying to heal a snake, a poisonous snake and the nature is to bite you, so don't stop trying to kill snakes, stop trying to heal snakes.

I know you wanna take people back because they sure they trauma with you.

I know what they went through as a kid who cares what they went through as a kid you, you cannot heal somebody else's trauma.

You can't out love somebody else's trauma.

Whatever else somebody else went through, does not give them the right to do it to you, to put you through stress strife in grief in front of kids, to create more kids like that, to continue this pattern of damaged kids and damaged children and things like that, don't let no don't let anybody weaponize that trauma their upbringing against you.

You probably had trouble.

You probably had trauma.

You didn't turn out like that.

You didn't do like you're, not weaponizing your drama anyway.

Y'all thank y'all, so much for tuning in to another episode, I like to keep these around eight nine minutes.

Keep them quick, keep them short, because, because tic tac only gives me 60 seconds, I can expound the 8 9 10 over here and keep it moving anyways.

Thank you.

If y'all like this series, let me know I'm free.

I appreciate the support we hit.

20 000 uh subscribers on youtube, I'm so thankful for every single one of y'all hit that like and subscribe button.

I think I'm thankful for every one of y'all peace.


Will a narcissist ever truly apologize? ›

If you've heard someone say, “Narcissists never apologize,” they're not exactly right. While many traits of narcissism like entitlement, elitism, and arrogance make it unlikely someone with narcissistic traits will go the apology route, apologies are sometimes used with ulterior motives.

What does it mean if a narcissist apologizes? ›

The apology from a narcissist is rarely to make someone else feel better. Narcissists use apologies to return the advantage to them. Narcissists function in a continuous game of control and manipulation. In order to control others, they must feel like they have the upper hand.

Why you should never apologize to a narcissist? ›

When you apologize to a narcissist, whether you are at fault or not, you have made it about you, and this is exactly what the narcissist wants. They can then use this apology to effectively blame shift onto you.

Will a narcissist ever regret their actions? ›

Some narcissists may be able to feel bad about something they've done to hurt someone else. It isn't guilt they feel, so much as regret (or even anger) that things happened the way they did. But any “remorse” they feel is likely to be about how that behavior affected them rather than how it affected the victim.

What happens when you don't accept a narcissist apology? ›

If you don't accept the narcissist's apology, they'll keep on apologizing until you finally give in and take it. A narcissist would rather keep on apologizing than change their behavior or find out what it is which would make you forgive them.

How do you make a narcissist regret leaving you? ›

How to Make a Narcissist Regret Losing You
  1. 1 Cut off all contact with the person.
  2. 2 Be unattainable and focus on your well-being.
  3. 3 Spend time with your support network.
  4. 4 Realize that people with NPD can't feel regret.
  5. 5 Resist the urge to get revenge.
  6. 6 Give yourself a chance to grieve the relationship.
Apr 11, 2022

What is a false apology? ›

An insincere apology occurs when it doesn't involve remorse or regret. Sometimes an apology may make you feel worse rather than offering an opportunity for reconciliation. A false apology can lead to resentment and anger, which may make you feel misunderstood, invalidated, or manipulated.

What it's like arguing with a narcissist? ›

Arguing with a narcissist can be extremely difficult — people with narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) feel very little empathy for others and are often manipulative. They may use tactics like turning the blame on you, gaslighting you, and resorting to disrespectful behavor.

Why the narcissist is never happy with you? ›

They will never be happy for you.

Without empathy, it's impossible for the narcissist to know or recognize what makes you happy. They are unwilling to think about your needs. They lack insight into your emotions. They believe you should feel the same way they feel.

Do narcissists hold grudges? ›

Vindictive narcissists tend to hold onto grudges, often feel anger and resentment, and find ways to seek revenge against people who they feel wronged by. Because people with NPD often take things personally, they may also be easily offended, upset, or angered by others.

Will narcissist ever forgive you? ›

But a recent study published in Personality and Individual Differences suggests that, when it comes to forgiveness, not all narcissists are a lost cause. Instead, the researchers suggest, there are different types of narcissists, and some of them might have a greater capacity to forgive than others. The key is empathy.

Will a narcissist hold a grudge forever? ›

Someone with covert narcissism may hold grudges for a long time. When they believe someone's treated them unfairly, they might feel furious but say nothing at the moment. Instead, they're more likely to wait for an ideal opportunity to make the other person look bad or get revenge in some way.

Do narcissists ever truly love? ›

Narcissists can and do love, but their love tends to be superficial and fleeting. They can develop intense emotional attachments—even appearing to "fall in love"—and yet still maintain a complete lack of empathy for the object of their affection.

Will a narcissist ever realize they are a narcissist? ›

They have speculated that if narcissists received true feedback, they would change. The Carlson and colleagues' study suggests this is not the case: Narcissists are fully aware that they are narcissistic and that they have a narcissistic reputation.

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